In one of my recent links posts on my own blog, I linked to an article by Helen at Bird Of Paradox where she explored the possibility of trans-friendly books for children (which she kindly allowed me to cross post here at this very blog).
A comment from Margie questioning the benefit/risk of the idea:
Don’t you think offering “trans-friendly” books to CHILDREN is a bit like offering pro-plastic-surgery books, or pro-limb-lengthening-surgery books, or gastric-bypass-friendly books to kids? I mean we’re talking about major pharmaceutical dependence, the long-term consequences of which aren’t yet known, and major surgical intervention against what is in actuality healthy flesh. Are none of these trans-advocates concerned at all about children being indoctrinated and influenced to do themselves bodily harm, when they might under less woman-hating circumstances simply be lesbian women or women who otherwise do not adhere to societal gender roles in style or behavior?
My response to this is, I admit, straight from my head as I’m not an expert on transsexuality or transgenderism. However I’d like to invite readers to give their own reasons why they agree/disagree with Margie, because this is an interesting opinion and I think the dialogue could be important.
My thoughts:
Firstly, a child who reads a book containing a trans person and then decides/realises he or she is trans, is not going to immediately be put on hormonal treatment or given surgery. The only transitioning options available to children, as far as I know, are social and ‘appearance’ based i.e. the option to use the other pronoun, go by a different name, wear different clothes and live in their desired gender.
Secondly, children’s books containing say, lesbian couples, aren’t designed to turn children gay. To imply that children will be ‘indoctrinated’ wanders dangerously close to the “I don’t want my kids to have books containing gay characters because they turn children gay/are part of the ‘Gay Agenda’ etc.” line of thinking, which is clearly sensationalist and untrue.
As a corollary to the second point, we advocate books containing lesbian/gay/bisexual characters as a method not of turning children gay but to encourage tolerance and to show children from minority families “people like us”. A child with lesbian parents may well feel validated by seeing a character in a children’s book with two mums. Likewise, it may reduce the likelihood of her being bullied for her family situation, because it is more normalised. In turn, it may help raise children into more accepting adults because they haven’t grown up seeing non-heterosexuality as ‘different’ or ‘other’. Added to all that, it helps children who are troubled by their own sexuality to realise that non-heterosexuality is valid and acceptable.
Books containing trans characters would have the same benefits – not to turn children trans but to give validation to children of trans people, reduce bullying as a result of other kids seeing trans parents as ‘other’, therefore raising more accepting adults, and helping children who are already having gender issues to resolve some of the feelings of ‘weirdness’ and despair by showing them people just like them.
Thirdly, the last paragraph of the comment mentions that trans people “might under less woman-hating circumstances simply be lesbian women or women who otherwise do not adhere to societal gender roles in style or behavior?” This appears to relate to FTM trans people but doesn’t address what might under less woman-hating circumstances become of MTF trans people? Does this comment mean that it doesn’t matter if we turn boys trans, only girls? Or is there something deeper at work here?
So there’s my (admittedly basic) take on this. Readers, I’d love your input because I’m sure there are far more articulate arguments for both sides of the coin. Over to you.
“Secondly, children’s books containing say, lesbian couples, aren’t designed to turn children gay. To imply that children will be ‘indoctrinated’ wanders dangerously close to the “I don’t want my kids to have books containing gay characters because they turn children gay/are part of the ‘Gay Agenda’ etc.” line of thinking, which is clearly sensationalist and untrue.”
Yes agree very much with this! And your point about validating children’s experiences is also important.
Been reading for a while…pretty sure this is my first comment…
Books like these help to normalize what some would sensationalize. It helps to take the taboo away from what the mainstream calls different and makes children in less conventional families feel validated, which is so important. Children thrive the best when they feel validation.
Also, I get very uncomfortable when people begin equating trans* w/ woman hating, b/c the two are not equal. It is about the gamut of humanity, and about how a person feels the most comfortable w/ themselves, and it is not for a person outside of that particular body to judge how that person deals w/ their own body. Being FTM is no more woman hating than being a gay man. I have seen this kind of thing used to draw lines in feminist circles where they don’t need to be drawn. Kind of like dividing our own forces against ourselves if you ask me (which I know no one has). Children need to lean that our world is made up of all kind of bodies and that the gender binary is a social construct. Books like 10,000 Dresses and the ones you listed help to show that. Books w/ gay characters aren’t going to turn children gay any more than Harry Potter books are going to turn kids into wizards or Twilight is going to turn them into Vampires.
I love your blog.
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What Anji said. What Missing Words said. What Ouyang Dan said. But also…
When I was first involved in this discussion, I was thinking mainly of pre-schoolers (my own child is not yet two).
I don’t think anyone is yet advocating gender reassignment surgery for young trans children. In fact, I’ve never heard of anyone advocating it for children at all. So even if my little boy did read 10,000 dresses and it just happened to “make him want to be a girl” we’d be limited in our options anyway, at that age.
However, it’s my understanding that one does not “choose” to be a trans person, any more than one “chooses” to be cis-gendered. So I don’t think reading books with trans people as characters is going to “make” your little one into a trans child is something you need to worry about!
Having said that, I think in all fairness, you’re trying to say something else here too, which is what if a young child mistakes their feelings around sexual orientation for believing they are a different gender. Or also, “what if it’s just a phase?”
Well, the last one first. Children *do* go through phases, of course they do. And I’m sure it’s not a complete stretch of the imagination for a child to go through a “phase” of wanting to be the opposite sex. And … although I’m not totally convinced, I can see how it might just be possible that this could be influenced by the literature they read. But phases… are just phases. A cis-gendered girl who wants to play at being a boy, for example, is just that, playing. She might want to play at it for a few weeks, a few months, even longer… she might want to fuck with gender stereotypes as an adult but it’s not the same thing as being a trans man.
Whereas for someone born female who is actually a trans boy, for example, – it’s different, it’s not a “phase” and the longer it carries on the more his parents are going to realise it’s not a phase.
As for confusing sexual orientation with gender… well, be sensible. In a world where we have lots of trans-friendly children’s books, we’re also going to have a plethora of GLBT-friendly books in general, aren’t we? Our children will know the difference between “loving people of the same sex” and “not being the gender you’re born with”. And then they’ll be able to work it out for themselves what it is they really are.
To end on a personal note:
Chances are something like 1399 in 1400 that my little boy will be cis-gendered. If he is, I want him to grow up able to understand what cis-privilege is, and to know how to check it. I don’t want him to be a bully or a bigot.
If he isn’t… if the person I think of as my little boy is actually a trans girl, I want her to know that her experience is valid, I want her to know she’s not alone and I want her to be able to talk to me about her experiences.
I also would like it if possible for her not to have to go through puberty as a boy (and I understand there are some developments in terms of “delaying” the effects of puberty in trans children until they are old enough to give adult consent to surgery etc. – I understand this process is reversible in the unlikely event it is “just a phase” as alluded to in the original comment). I’d like it to be acceptable for her to be – from dressing as to using the toilets of – the gender she is. I’d like – well, you know what? I’d like everything for her that I’d like for any child of mine. Happiness, confidence, security… and to have these rights written into law like everyone else.
Thank you Ruth.
Unfortunately having gone and read the comments over at SUSD have realised it’s probably pointless arguing.
Yeah, pretty much. I need to stop reading really, though I kept looking and commenting even after I resolved not to.
Arguing over our right have control over our bodies (indeed to exist in some ways), Jesus, I’m mad at myself too for continuing to engage. I said never again, but here we are.
I wish all parents of trans* kids were like you Ruth. ^.^
And yeah…I also need to not read t3h trolls… but noooo, I had to backslide and engage (its a bad habit of mine; a few months ago I even went and blocked my browser from reading the worst of the hatesites). Seriously, the next time I’m tempted I should just read a bad fanfic instead.
Yeah Anji, books containing trans* characters would not *~*~magically~*~* turn kids trans*; they’d open up cis* kids minds so that there was somewhat less transphobia and they’d reassure trans* kids.
It seems like most trans* people don’t realize being trans* is possible until we are adults (or, more recently, in our teens).
I think a lot of suffering, denial, self-hatred, etc could be avoided if trans* kids learned at a young age it was possible and perfectly natural and all right to be trans* and transition (or not).
I sort of learned trans* people existed when I was about 14; the GSA tacked the T on to the end and the (white, cis*) gay male teacher told a story about a “man” he met who wore a sundress in winter because that’s all “he” could afford. (yeah… not all that great)
But, later that year (or the next, I don’t recall) I read Stonewall and learned about Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P Johnson, and all the other trans*women who participated in Stonewall and the early queer/trans* activist groups. That book was what set me towards the end of denial. What if I’d found it when I was 8 or 12?
I must say although I knew there were people like her “out there” I was still taken aback by the sheer level of her… hate? anger?
I hate dogma, of all kinds, because I think it closes off your mind to anything. I mean, by all means, disagree with people, but you know, be prepared to have your mind changed too. Otherwise, you’re just trolling, you’re not debating at all.
Also I think sometimes on the internet people don’t quite “get” that the people they’re talking to are real people with real feelings that can be hurt. At the very, very least, even if you disagree with someone, is it not possible to be – I dunno, at least polite? Otherwise you’re just being a total smeghead.
I’ll admit I don’t really know what sort of stories are simple enough for small kids), but wouldn’t it be possible for folks with artistic talent to make short books/comics and post them online?
(I do not have much drawing ability)
I know a ton of people write queer or feminist versions of Harry Potter or other media (and theres original fic too), and there are comics and fic geared towards teens and adults…
Oh, that reminds me: Jade Gordon does webcomics with lots of trans characters and posts them online. But again, older teens and adults.. She’s cis, but I read them when I was coming out and they helped me feel like, oh, maybe someone *could* fancy a weirdo like me.
http://jadaze.comicgenesis.com/
Oh, that reminds me: Jade Gordon does webcomics with lots of trans characters and posts them online. But again, older teens and adults.. She’s cis, but I read them when I was coming out and they helped me feel like, oh, maybe someone *could* fancy a weirdo like me.
http://jadaze.comicgenesis.com/
Here’s an article about the author of 10,000 Dresses.
I get so infuriated by the argument that is often used against gay/lesbian literature aimed at youth, in that it’s indoctrination or going to ‘turn those innocent kids’.
It’s even more dissapointing when those that are feminist, whilst pointing out how women have suffered at patriarchal society and culture trying to define their experiences, then also attempt to silence trans* youth by using that same right-wing, conservative language.
Speak to most trans* people and they will offer their own experiences – and that is overwhelmingly that they know they’ve felt that way since very young – and often it’s felt totally inate that they either had body/genital incongruence or a discomfort with their assigned gender and/or gender.
Most of us who are trans* knew we were different, and yet, from childhood, we were desperate to know that it was ok, and that we weren’t the only ones (because that’s how it feels) – most of us supressed how we felt as youth because we were made to feel like freaks, and yet at least the last 10 years the internet has helped to inform not only others, but to give us some unified voice of experience and understanding. If only I had a childhood where I could not only access trans* friendly childrens books, but that others around me who weren’t trans* could be informed too.